http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/weird/west/index_1.html
The Biography Channel recently did an interview with Mae and Stephen West, children of notorious British murderers Fred and Rosemary West. They consider themselves lucky that they survived, since their sisters Anne Marie and Heather were murdered by their parents. Throughout their lives Mae and Stephen were told that if they misbehaved, they would end up under the house "like Heather." After the police raided the house, the children found out that this was not an idle threat. The body of Heather, along with several other young women who either worked for or were acquaintances of Fred and Rose, was found under the house.
Predictably, Fred and Rose were abusive parents. Fred frequently sexually assaulted his daughters, and they brought home their other sex partners, and Rose never hid the fact that she was a prostitute from the children. Both parents physically abused the children, and Anne Marie's death was likely the result of a beating gone too far. Hearing Mae and Stephen speak about their childhood, they show little emotion, but Mae frequently looks down, and both speak softly as they relive their experiences and how they wished for "normal" parents. Sex was so out in the open, they say, that they felt like they weren't allowed to be children. Add to that the horrific abuse, and it's surprising that Fred and Rose West's surviving children didn't become murderers themselves, although Fred's cousin was arrested shortly after the Wests for sexually assaulting young women.
Teresa Knorr was another sadistic parent that frequently turns up in the backgrounds of serial killers. Teresa killed her first husband and drove away at least three others with her possessive and jealous nature. After claiming self-defense in the murder of her first husband, saying he was abusive, a claim that may or may not have been true, she was found not guilty. She had several children with her many husbands, and was abusive to all of them, especially her daughters. When her daughter Susan died from a gunshot wound inflicted by Teresa, the mother ordered her two sons to help her dispose of their sister's body. Susan Knorr's body was discovered, and Teresa was charged with murder. On a TV show about Teresa, her surviving daughter wonders what kind of person she will be after having a mother like Teresa Knorr. While not all children of parents like the Wests and Teresa Knorr end up violent criminals themselves, coping with this type of trauma is never easy, as seen on the faces and heard in the voices of Mae and Stephen West.
It's rare to hear about a serial killer's children, because most of them don't have any. If they can't sustain a relationship, as most psychopathic killers can't, they usually don't get as far as having children. But the ones who do, either because they are experts at hiding their secrets from their families, or, like the Wests, have found a kindred evil spirit, inflict untold damage to their children, either physically or when the child discovers that their father (or mother) has been keeping such a horrific secret.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Muslim misogyny and theocracy reaches new lows
http://mikesweeklyskepticrant.blogspot.com/2008/02/well-she-turned-me-into-newt.html
This just in from my blogger buddy Big Heathen Mike: a woman is facing execution in Saudi Arabia (which for some reason is still considered a "key ally" to the US) for being a witch. Apparently in Saudi Arabia, the Middle Ages never ended. For all their oil and wealth, they still believe in the evil nature of women and the existence of witchcraft, and their government is backing them up. Only intervention from the Human Rights Watch could possibly stop this innocent woman from being executed for a nonexistent crime. Even if we eliminate the ridiculous charge, this woman wasn't even allowed to face her accusers or hear the specifics of the charges against her. But I guess the Saudis don't consider women complete citizens, so they aren't entitled to the same rights as men. There's so much bullshit here I need a shovel and a protective mask.
This just in from my blogger buddy Big Heathen Mike: a woman is facing execution in Saudi Arabia (which for some reason is still considered a "key ally" to the US) for being a witch. Apparently in Saudi Arabia, the Middle Ages never ended. For all their oil and wealth, they still believe in the evil nature of women and the existence of witchcraft, and their government is backing them up. Only intervention from the Human Rights Watch could possibly stop this innocent woman from being executed for a nonexistent crime. Even if we eliminate the ridiculous charge, this woman wasn't even allowed to face her accusers or hear the specifics of the charges against her. But I guess the Saudis don't consider women complete citizens, so they aren't entitled to the same rights as men. There's so much bullshit here I need a shovel and a protective mask.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Profile of NIU shooter
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080216/ap_on_re_us/niu_shooting;_ylt=AgymPcpjhy0n8HwsONEU3lxbIwgF
Less than a year after the rampage at Virginia Tech, another American university suffers an attack by a pissed-off young man toting a gun. As expected, those close to the shooter described him as "happy" and "stable," but unlike many other mass murderers, he revealed a darker side long before he picked up his gun. He was reportedly abusive toward his on-and-off girlfriend, and had a history of mental illness. The exact type of illness isn't identified, but it was reported that in the weeks before the shooting, the gunman had stopped taking his medication. An untreated mental illness can have tragic consequences, particularly if the disorder in question is paranoid schizophrenia. Plagued by hallucinations, a schizophrenic is so detached from reality that they sometimes do the unthinkable. Herbert Mullin killed random victims in Southern California because he heard the voice of his father telling him to "sing the die song." In northern California, Richard Trenton Chase murdered three people, including a mother and her child, and drank their blood because he believed that his own blood was turning to dust, and by drinking the blood of others, he could replenish his own veins. And in the twisted world of Scientology, Jeremy Perkins, whose schizophrenia went untreated due to the cult's hatred of psychiatry, stabbed his mother to death. But even if the NIU shooter wasn't schizophrenic, stopping his medication could have led him to take extreme actions. Since, like most other mass murderers, he ended his shooting spree by taking his own life, he very likely had a history of depression, and, with his mind inflamed and his rage level high, he wanted to take others with him when he ended it all.
In older crime news, a forensic anthropologist is examining the remains found in Belle Gunness' Indiana home over 100 years ago to determine whether the body could have belonged to this infamous black widow. I saw a documentary about Gunness a few years ago, and in the annals of black widows and female killers, she had a unique savagery. Most female murderers prefer the delicate administration and clean, and excruciatingly slow and painful, method of poison, or, like Aileen Wuornos, the quick and detached method of gunfire. But Gunness' victims were chopped up and burned, either in lieu of or in addition to being dosed with poison. The controversy surrounding her own death came after her farmhand confessed on his deathbed to helping Gunness dispose of her victims. When authorities arrived at the house, they found it burned to the ground, with 20 or 30 charred corpses buried in the ground. Three relatively fresh bodies were also found, supposedly those of Belle and her two children. But some found it difficult to believe that Belle was actually dead. The corpse that was supposed to be hers was decapitated, removing the distinctive facial features. Also, Belle was a large woman, and the corpse seemed to indicate a lighter build. While the new forensic evidence indicates that the body could belong to someone of Belle's height, it remains unclear whether the truth will come out. But Belle Gunness was nothing if not crafty, and self-serving, so no one would put it past her to fake her death to elude prosecution.
Less than a year after the rampage at Virginia Tech, another American university suffers an attack by a pissed-off young man toting a gun. As expected, those close to the shooter described him as "happy" and "stable," but unlike many other mass murderers, he revealed a darker side long before he picked up his gun. He was reportedly abusive toward his on-and-off girlfriend, and had a history of mental illness. The exact type of illness isn't identified, but it was reported that in the weeks before the shooting, the gunman had stopped taking his medication. An untreated mental illness can have tragic consequences, particularly if the disorder in question is paranoid schizophrenia. Plagued by hallucinations, a schizophrenic is so detached from reality that they sometimes do the unthinkable. Herbert Mullin killed random victims in Southern California because he heard the voice of his father telling him to "sing the die song." In northern California, Richard Trenton Chase murdered three people, including a mother and her child, and drank their blood because he believed that his own blood was turning to dust, and by drinking the blood of others, he could replenish his own veins. And in the twisted world of Scientology, Jeremy Perkins, whose schizophrenia went untreated due to the cult's hatred of psychiatry, stabbed his mother to death. But even if the NIU shooter wasn't schizophrenic, stopping his medication could have led him to take extreme actions. Since, like most other mass murderers, he ended his shooting spree by taking his own life, he very likely had a history of depression, and, with his mind inflamed and his rage level high, he wanted to take others with him when he ended it all.
In older crime news, a forensic anthropologist is examining the remains found in Belle Gunness' Indiana home over 100 years ago to determine whether the body could have belonged to this infamous black widow. I saw a documentary about Gunness a few years ago, and in the annals of black widows and female killers, she had a unique savagery. Most female murderers prefer the delicate administration and clean, and excruciatingly slow and painful, method of poison, or, like Aileen Wuornos, the quick and detached method of gunfire. But Gunness' victims were chopped up and burned, either in lieu of or in addition to being dosed with poison. The controversy surrounding her own death came after her farmhand confessed on his deathbed to helping Gunness dispose of her victims. When authorities arrived at the house, they found it burned to the ground, with 20 or 30 charred corpses buried in the ground. Three relatively fresh bodies were also found, supposedly those of Belle and her two children. But some found it difficult to believe that Belle was actually dead. The corpse that was supposed to be hers was decapitated, removing the distinctive facial features. Also, Belle was a large woman, and the corpse seemed to indicate a lighter build. While the new forensic evidence indicates that the body could belong to someone of Belle's height, it remains unclear whether the truth will come out. But Belle Gunness was nothing if not crafty, and self-serving, so no one would put it past her to fake her death to elude prosecution.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Two sexual predators
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses_Sithole
The first in the Valentine's Day recollection of vicious sexual predators is Moses Sithole, responsible for the murders of 37 women and one child in South Africa, a nation plagued with violent crime. In a post-apartheid South Africa, Sithole conned impoverished women into his company by offering them employment, then led them to an isolated field, raped and strangled them. Sithole was the African Ted Bundy, deceptively charming to those who met him, and unspeakably cruel to his victims. Sithole, like Bundy, blamed all women for the wrongs inflicted on him by his mother. Also, when a woman accused him of a rape he swore he didn't commit, Sithole began his murder spree after being released from prison. In his mind, yet another woman had screwed him over, and he wanted revenge on all women. In the minds of the more rational, murdering women to correct a supposedly false rape accusation appears counterintuitive. If any authorities thought Sithole might be innocent, that feeling evaporated when they saw how brutally Sithole murdered his female victims. "I was wrongly accused of rape by a woman, so I'll kill 37 women and one woman's child to get back at women and prove my innocence." It makes no sense, but that's just the warped logic characteristic of serial killers.
On Investigation Discovery a while back (one of my favorite cable channels), I saw a show about a serial rapist who, right before his arrest, went by the name Ian Thorne-Green. His real name, which I don't remember, was revealed when Thorne-Green's crimes were matched to a string of other sexual assaults. As far as I know, he never killed anyone, except his domineering mother, who he beat to death with a baseball bat during an argument, but his female victims were left in critical condition. Like Ted Bundy and Moses Sithole, Thorne-Green was charming to the point where he could lure unsuspecting women to their doom. Even the arresting officers were disarmed by Thorne-Green's pleasantness and intelligence. I wish I could remember more about this case, or find something about it, but all my searches have come up empty.
The first in the Valentine's Day recollection of vicious sexual predators is Moses Sithole, responsible for the murders of 37 women and one child in South Africa, a nation plagued with violent crime. In a post-apartheid South Africa, Sithole conned impoverished women into his company by offering them employment, then led them to an isolated field, raped and strangled them. Sithole was the African Ted Bundy, deceptively charming to those who met him, and unspeakably cruel to his victims. Sithole, like Bundy, blamed all women for the wrongs inflicted on him by his mother. Also, when a woman accused him of a rape he swore he didn't commit, Sithole began his murder spree after being released from prison. In his mind, yet another woman had screwed him over, and he wanted revenge on all women. In the minds of the more rational, murdering women to correct a supposedly false rape accusation appears counterintuitive. If any authorities thought Sithole might be innocent, that feeling evaporated when they saw how brutally Sithole murdered his female victims. "I was wrongly accused of rape by a woman, so I'll kill 37 women and one woman's child to get back at women and prove my innocence." It makes no sense, but that's just the warped logic characteristic of serial killers.
On Investigation Discovery a while back (one of my favorite cable channels), I saw a show about a serial rapist who, right before his arrest, went by the name Ian Thorne-Green. His real name, which I don't remember, was revealed when Thorne-Green's crimes were matched to a string of other sexual assaults. As far as I know, he never killed anyone, except his domineering mother, who he beat to death with a baseball bat during an argument, but his female victims were left in critical condition. Like Ted Bundy and Moses Sithole, Thorne-Green was charming to the point where he could lure unsuspecting women to their doom. Even the arresting officers were disarmed by Thorne-Green's pleasantness and intelligence. I wish I could remember more about this case, or find something about it, but all my searches have come up empty.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Crime stories
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080208/ap_on_re_us/teacher_stabbing;_ylt=AhQI9dIA.TqZ1aimzKykL3dbIwgF
A West Virginia police officer stabbed his wife because she wanted a divorce, one of the major reasons for her decision being his violent tendencies. If that's not crazy enough, the officer chose to stab her in front of her fifth-grade class. So he not only caused his wife critical injuries over a request for a divorce and traumatized their son, but he also traumatized several other children in the process. Often in my life, I wonder what's wrong with most people, and stories like this just reaffirm that many members of the human race are beyond reason and undeserving of being a member of our species.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080207/ap_on_re_us/mafia_arrests_glance;_ylt=AvaXZgbmuSI66oIBDcIooftbIwgF
Many years after the death of John Gotti, the Gambino crime family faces indictment in several unsolved murders. Some cases are 20-30 years old, and a few are even older. I'm always thankful for an excuse to keep the ever-declining world of organized crime and La Cosa Nostra in the headlines.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080206/ap_on_re_us/mafia_cop_vegas;_ylt=AvABZ9VjNJspNZc6S1fEl6ZbIwgF
An even better mob-related story; a former New York cop who allegedly served as a mob hitman faces tax evasion charges. A lot of people with violent urges look to careers in law enforcement, from serial killers to more mundane rageaholics. They enjoy the power that comes with such a position, and it provides an excuse to act on their impulses if the opportunity arises. But for this particular cop, the life of a police officer wasn't satisfying his bloodlust, so he went to the other side of the law to get his fix. I'm sure the mob loved having such dirty goods on a cop. Of course, this is all just speculation.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080206/ap_on_re_us/jonesboro_shooter;_ylt=AgsCmXa_qFQ3HVjViJ7o3ixbIwgF
Mitchell Johnson, who was 13 when he and a friend shot up their middle school, is now 23 and charged with another gun-related offense, namely possessing a gun while under the influence of a controlled substance. Johnson had been in juvenile and federal prisons until he was 21, and now, two years into his freedom, he's looking at another lengthy term.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080205/us_nm/usa_crime_judge_dc;_ylt=Ah5b97_ehRB.sVQnci_GhFlbIwgF
Over in Georgia, an accused rapist now faces murder charges after going apeshit in the courtroom, overpowering a security guard, stealing her gun and shooting four people. His defense team will try an insanity plea, but judging from the other similar cases I've studied, this defense is rarely effective.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080204/ap_on_re_us/hiker_killed;_ylt=AiSYPg9.JpZRZeduPEuxASRbIwgF
A man accused of killing a hiker in Georgia has been linked to a similar murder in North Carolina. The killer claims his motive was robbery, but who knows. From the photo, he looks like something out of Deliverance. But maybe that's the Southern prison doing its work.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080205/ap_on_re_us/machete_killing;_ylt=AoYVY0b5WwI8KDXLiEUtuYZbIwgF
Yet another man accused of killing his wife. This type of homocide is almost mundane to crime watchers, but this case gets notice for creativity. Like the man described in the first case, this killer stabbed his wife after she threatened to leave him. But this one, instead of stabbing her in front of schoolchildren, hacked her to death with a machete while she slept. It's different, and even the authorities were at a loss as to why this man kept a machete under his bed. What kind of person keeps a machete in the house if they don't live in Africa or South America? Maybe that's why his wife wanted to leave him.
Yes, it's been a busy couple of weeks in American crime. Too busy to provide substantial analyses of the various violent acts that occurred. But they caught my interest, and I love to share strange and crazy crime stories with my readers.
A West Virginia police officer stabbed his wife because she wanted a divorce, one of the major reasons for her decision being his violent tendencies. If that's not crazy enough, the officer chose to stab her in front of her fifth-grade class. So he not only caused his wife critical injuries over a request for a divorce and traumatized their son, but he also traumatized several other children in the process. Often in my life, I wonder what's wrong with most people, and stories like this just reaffirm that many members of the human race are beyond reason and undeserving of being a member of our species.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080207/ap_on_re_us/mafia_arrests_glance;_ylt=AvaXZgbmuSI66oIBDcIooftbIwgF
Many years after the death of John Gotti, the Gambino crime family faces indictment in several unsolved murders. Some cases are 20-30 years old, and a few are even older. I'm always thankful for an excuse to keep the ever-declining world of organized crime and La Cosa Nostra in the headlines.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080206/ap_on_re_us/mafia_cop_vegas;_ylt=AvABZ9VjNJspNZc6S1fEl6ZbIwgF
An even better mob-related story; a former New York cop who allegedly served as a mob hitman faces tax evasion charges. A lot of people with violent urges look to careers in law enforcement, from serial killers to more mundane rageaholics. They enjoy the power that comes with such a position, and it provides an excuse to act on their impulses if the opportunity arises. But for this particular cop, the life of a police officer wasn't satisfying his bloodlust, so he went to the other side of the law to get his fix. I'm sure the mob loved having such dirty goods on a cop. Of course, this is all just speculation.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080206/ap_on_re_us/jonesboro_shooter;_ylt=AgsCmXa_qFQ3HVjViJ7o3ixbIwgF
Mitchell Johnson, who was 13 when he and a friend shot up their middle school, is now 23 and charged with another gun-related offense, namely possessing a gun while under the influence of a controlled substance. Johnson had been in juvenile and federal prisons until he was 21, and now, two years into his freedom, he's looking at another lengthy term.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080205/us_nm/usa_crime_judge_dc;_ylt=Ah5b97_ehRB.sVQnci_GhFlbIwgF
Over in Georgia, an accused rapist now faces murder charges after going apeshit in the courtroom, overpowering a security guard, stealing her gun and shooting four people. His defense team will try an insanity plea, but judging from the other similar cases I've studied, this defense is rarely effective.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080204/ap_on_re_us/hiker_killed;_ylt=AiSYPg9.JpZRZeduPEuxASRbIwgF
A man accused of killing a hiker in Georgia has been linked to a similar murder in North Carolina. The killer claims his motive was robbery, but who knows. From the photo, he looks like something out of Deliverance. But maybe that's the Southern prison doing its work.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080205/ap_on_re_us/machete_killing;_ylt=AoYVY0b5WwI8KDXLiEUtuYZbIwgF
Yet another man accused of killing his wife. This type of homocide is almost mundane to crime watchers, but this case gets notice for creativity. Like the man described in the first case, this killer stabbed his wife after she threatened to leave him. But this one, instead of stabbing her in front of schoolchildren, hacked her to death with a machete while she slept. It's different, and even the authorities were at a loss as to why this man kept a machete under his bed. What kind of person keeps a machete in the house if they don't live in Africa or South America? Maybe that's why his wife wanted to leave him.
Yes, it's been a busy couple of weeks in American crime. Too busy to provide substantial analyses of the various violent acts that occurred. But they caught my interest, and I love to share strange and crazy crime stories with my readers.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Scientific atheist
What kind of atheist are you? created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as Scientific Atheist These guys rule. I'm not one of them myself, although I play one online. They know the rules of debate, the Laws of Thermodynamics, and can explain evolution in fifty words or less. More concerned with how things ARE than how they should be, these are the people who will bring us into the future.
|
Science isn't my forte, but I have found that I am often logical to a fault. I always overthink things, sometimes to the point where I can't sleep. Occasionally I feel like a robot, because I don't understand human emotions: "What is this thing you call love?" I couldn't say if I've ever been in love, because I barely know what it is. So the concept of religion, unwavering devotion to an invisible being with violent mood swings, or even a benevolent one, isn't for me.
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial/bryant/
Australia's former life as a penal colony is coming back to haunt the nation, with several serial killers and other dangerous types calling the subcontinent home. Martin Bryant, described as "a quiet lad and a bit of a loner," went on one of the deadliest killing sprees in the country's history. He fits the standard mass murderer/spree killer profile; history of abuse, IQ of 79, causing him to be ridiculed and isolated, diagnosed with schizophrenia. Australia also saw the brutal rampage of a killer known as "The Mutilator," a Scottish-born man who, after murdering his often homeless male victims, chopped off their genitals and left them in bags scattered around his home area. Leonard Fraser was another Aussie who set fear into the hearts of his countrymen with his streak of rape and murder, and, unlike most other serial killers, was described by law enforcement as "looking like a violent man."
Why are experienced law enforcement officials surprised when serial murderers show no emotion when describing their crimes? When Leonard Fraser maintained a stoic expression at the announcement of his murder conviction, they were surprised by his coldness. On a show about Joel Rifkin, the prostitute murderer who stalked New York in the early 1990s, the investigators recalled being shocked at Rifkin's flat tone in describing his brutal crimes. I'm a mere civilian, and I'm not surprised. These men, and in a few cases women, are all but incapable of "normal" emotion. Psychopaths are what a writer would call a flat character, with little emotional expression and even less understanding of their motives. Rifkin says that he didn't feel any unusual surge of rage before killing his first victim, he was just overcome with the desire to kill. In the excellent film No Country for Old Men, Javier Bardem plays a convincing psychopath, chilling in his stoic demeanor and violent actions.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tom Cruise reveals his true intentions
http://defamer.com/344987/the-tom-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientologists-dont-want-you-to-see
And those intentions include world domination through Scientology. The crew at Defamer has preserved the YouTube video that Scientologists quickly got taken down for all the world to see. Cruise, looking possessed as always, and adding a manic laugh to punctuate his diatribe, claims that Scientology is the sole authority on drug rehabilitation. Said program, Narconon, is an untested therapy that includes, if reports I've read are correct, vitamin saturation and saunas to, I guess, sweat the drugs out. If it sounds crazy, that's because it's Scientology. He also says that Scientology has unequaled success in rehabilitating criminals and curing mental ills. Until I see the evidence, from what I know about Scientology, I'm not buying it. This "religion," "therapy," "cult" or whatever it is was created by a failed science fiction writer whose sole motivation was to make money. This video was likely taken down by the cult brass because Cruise mentions "Suppressive Persons," a term that's supposed to be confined to the group's inner circles. "SPs" include anyone who questions or contradicts Scientology, and according to L. Ron Hubbard, these are people who need to be intimidated into silence. Scientology has ruined the lives of those who have spoken out against it, like Paulette Cooper, Jon Atack (whose book A Piece of Blue Sky I highly recommend) and the writer of a highly critical article in Time magazine. It's impossible to tell how deep Cruise is in the bowels of Scientology, whether he is a true believer or in on the scam. Atack, a former Scientologist, writes in his book that most Scientologists are not bad people and genuinely believe that their chosen religion or therapy is legitimate, but have been misguided. It's a cult trademark to take advantage of trusting lost souls. Charles Manson did it, Jim Jones did it, and Hubbard did it, with his successors continuing to take money from followers and ruin more lives.
Anyone who was on the Metro yesterday probably saw the sign-waving troops of the anti-abortion army. I guess it's not enough that anti-abortion group A Second Look has ads on the trains, now I have to look at more signs. One featured a picture of a baby with the words "Face it. Abortion kills." The word "life" is written on the back. It's not worth it to try to reason with these people, such as explaining that most abortions take place in the first trimester, when the fetus looks nothing like the picture they place on their signs to drum up sympathy and guilt. For the most part, their minds are made up. What really bothered me yesterday was seeing a little girl with who was probably her mother holding a sign. She looked about eight or nine years old. I find it hard to believe that a girl that age could make an informed decision about this issue without pressure from her parents. I always have a problem with parents who bring their children to political protests, because the child hasn't decided to come on their own, but was roped into it by their mother or father.
Scientologists and anti-abortion protesters: two things guaranteed to make me mad.
And those intentions include world domination through Scientology. The crew at Defamer has preserved the YouTube video that Scientologists quickly got taken down for all the world to see. Cruise, looking possessed as always, and adding a manic laugh to punctuate his diatribe, claims that Scientology is the sole authority on drug rehabilitation. Said program, Narconon, is an untested therapy that includes, if reports I've read are correct, vitamin saturation and saunas to, I guess, sweat the drugs out. If it sounds crazy, that's because it's Scientology. He also says that Scientology has unequaled success in rehabilitating criminals and curing mental ills. Until I see the evidence, from what I know about Scientology, I'm not buying it. This "religion," "therapy," "cult" or whatever it is was created by a failed science fiction writer whose sole motivation was to make money. This video was likely taken down by the cult brass because Cruise mentions "Suppressive Persons," a term that's supposed to be confined to the group's inner circles. "SPs" include anyone who questions or contradicts Scientology, and according to L. Ron Hubbard, these are people who need to be intimidated into silence. Scientology has ruined the lives of those who have spoken out against it, like Paulette Cooper, Jon Atack (whose book A Piece of Blue Sky I highly recommend) and the writer of a highly critical article in Time magazine. It's impossible to tell how deep Cruise is in the bowels of Scientology, whether he is a true believer or in on the scam. Atack, a former Scientologist, writes in his book that most Scientologists are not bad people and genuinely believe that their chosen religion or therapy is legitimate, but have been misguided. It's a cult trademark to take advantage of trusting lost souls. Charles Manson did it, Jim Jones did it, and Hubbard did it, with his successors continuing to take money from followers and ruin more lives.
Anyone who was on the Metro yesterday probably saw the sign-waving troops of the anti-abortion army. I guess it's not enough that anti-abortion group A Second Look has ads on the trains, now I have to look at more signs. One featured a picture of a baby with the words "Face it. Abortion kills." The word "life" is written on the back. It's not worth it to try to reason with these people, such as explaining that most abortions take place in the first trimester, when the fetus looks nothing like the picture they place on their signs to drum up sympathy and guilt. For the most part, their minds are made up. What really bothered me yesterday was seeing a little girl with who was probably her mother holding a sign. She looked about eight or nine years old. I find it hard to believe that a girl that age could make an informed decision about this issue without pressure from her parents. I always have a problem with parents who bring their children to political protests, because the child hasn't decided to come on their own, but was roped into it by their mother or father.
Scientologists and anti-abortion protesters: two things guaranteed to make me mad.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Russia: Mafia state?
I was watching a show on the History Channel about the Red Mafiya, Russia's organized crime faction, and it revealed some disturbing news. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, most Russian businesses pay at least 30% of their proceeds to the mob for protection, while one-third of Russians make less than a dollar a day. The Red Mafiya, aside from striking fear in the hearts of even other gangsters (on The Sopranos, Tony tells an associate, "Don't fuck with the Russians"), is more intellectually sophisticated than the average criminal enterprise. One scam involved buying cheap grain alcohol in the US, dying it blue and shipping it in industrial tubs, claiming it was window cleaner to bypass the charges attached to shipping alcohol. When the "window cleaner" got to Russia, the coloring was removed and the cheap booze was sold as vodka. With a reduction in charges, and the large amounts of vodka consumed by Russian citizens, the Red Mafiya made millions of dollars in the process. First the tyrannical Czars, then the failed experiment and paranoid leadership of Stalinism, now an economy run by gangsters and a government run by an ex-KGB officer who is possibly offing his enemies with poison, as well as several active serial killers; Russia changes, but very little has improved for the people.
On US soil, a black man charged with raping several men is currently imprisoned in Texas. Though it wasn't addressed during the trial, his outlook isn't good. Rapists are low on the chain of command in prison, often raped themselves once behind bars, and a homosexual rapist would likely be even lower, especially in Texas. And while Texas has come a long way from the time when a black man was dragged to his death behind a truck, this rapist's race could pose another problem. I'm unfamiliar with the cultural reasons behind this, but I've heard that homosexuality is a particularly strong taboo among black men.
Personal news: For the last few nights, I haven't been able to sleep. When I go to bed, I can't stop thinking and just drift off. I think about what's happened, things I saw and heard that day, which lead to similar past events, and on and on until an hour has passed with no sign of my mind stopping. I've never done drugs, aside from antidepressants and sometimes drinking way too much, but on those nights, I think it might be nice to have something that will turn off my overactive brain. But there are a lot of reasons why I've never used drugs. Primarily, I'm already paranoid and hypersensitve. If I used any kind of mood-altering substance, I think my head would explode.
On US soil, a black man charged with raping several men is currently imprisoned in Texas. Though it wasn't addressed during the trial, his outlook isn't good. Rapists are low on the chain of command in prison, often raped themselves once behind bars, and a homosexual rapist would likely be even lower, especially in Texas. And while Texas has come a long way from the time when a black man was dragged to his death behind a truck, this rapist's race could pose another problem. I'm unfamiliar with the cultural reasons behind this, but I've heard that homosexuality is a particularly strong taboo among black men.
Personal news: For the last few nights, I haven't been able to sleep. When I go to bed, I can't stop thinking and just drift off. I think about what's happened, things I saw and heard that day, which lead to similar past events, and on and on until an hour has passed with no sign of my mind stopping. I've never done drugs, aside from antidepressants and sometimes drinking way too much, but on those nights, I think it might be nice to have something that will turn off my overactive brain. But there are a lot of reasons why I've never used drugs. Primarily, I'm already paranoid and hypersensitve. If I used any kind of mood-altering substance, I think my head would explode.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I am an island
It's fun to think of myself as a tortured genius, even if it's not entirely true:
| You Are 81% Tortured Genius |
 You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood. Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island. |
Sunday, January 13, 2008
A very sad story
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Autistic-Girl-Killed.html
A woman killed her daughter because she couldn't handle the child's autistic behavior. That's depressing enough, but then the mother said she felt responsible for her child's condition because she had been vaccinated. The mother, as an MD, should know by now that the link between autism and vaccines has been thoroughly discredited. She said she loved her daughter but hated the autism, and wanted it out of her life. However it happened, the child came with the autism, and most parents in that situation do their best to help the child cope in whatever way they can, even though it may be difficult. Being a parent is hard, and I know I couldn't handle it at this point in my life. This mother took the easy way out, suffocating her very young daughter because she didn't think she could handle the child's condition, something hundreds of other parents deal with.
I have an interest in autism because a few years ago, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism. When I was younger, everyone knew I was different, something I never heard the end of from nasty kids and confused adults, but they didn't know what was at the root of it. AS didn't enter the DSM until 1994, when I was 12, and didn't gain public recognition until years later. I was diagnosed at 19, after I had developed the social skills that were lacking when I was a kid. AS is marked by social impairment, an inability to pick up on social cues that most people inherently understand. All my life, I've heard that my "tone" was saying something I never intended to say with my words, something I was totally unaware of. The casual terms of endearment that adults use with children, and sometimes adults use with other adults, like "hon" and the like, were intolerable to me, and still are. Someone who doesn't know me has no business calling me hon or darling. And in introductory casual conversation, I still hate being touched. Once in high school, a teacher tried to put his hand on my arm while conducting a condescending talk about one of my assignments, and I recoiled. When I object to these things, I have people telling me they're just trying to be nice, but I don't see it that way.
Because of my condition, it has always been hard for me to make and keep friends. But it has improved as I've gotten older, as I've gradually learned the social techniques that I previously didn't understand. On my new favorite TV show Dexter, as unsettling as it is to identify with a serial killer, in a flashback scene, a teenage Dexter is approached by a girl, asking him if he's heard about the spring formal. He says yes, but nothing else. When the girl leaves, Dexter's father tells him that the girl wanted him to ask her to the dance. Dexter replies, "But that's not what she said." I totally understood. There's so much work in communicating; not only listening to what's said, but deciphering body language, tone, context, it goes on and on. I shouldn't be too surprised that it took me so long to pick up on it, and why I still need work in perfecting it, even though it seems to come naturally to almost everyone else.
A woman killed her daughter because she couldn't handle the child's autistic behavior. That's depressing enough, but then the mother said she felt responsible for her child's condition because she had been vaccinated. The mother, as an MD, should know by now that the link between autism and vaccines has been thoroughly discredited. She said she loved her daughter but hated the autism, and wanted it out of her life. However it happened, the child came with the autism, and most parents in that situation do their best to help the child cope in whatever way they can, even though it may be difficult. Being a parent is hard, and I know I couldn't handle it at this point in my life. This mother took the easy way out, suffocating her very young daughter because she didn't think she could handle the child's condition, something hundreds of other parents deal with.
I have an interest in autism because a few years ago, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism. When I was younger, everyone knew I was different, something I never heard the end of from nasty kids and confused adults, but they didn't know what was at the root of it. AS didn't enter the DSM until 1994, when I was 12, and didn't gain public recognition until years later. I was diagnosed at 19, after I had developed the social skills that were lacking when I was a kid. AS is marked by social impairment, an inability to pick up on social cues that most people inherently understand. All my life, I've heard that my "tone" was saying something I never intended to say with my words, something I was totally unaware of. The casual terms of endearment that adults use with children, and sometimes adults use with other adults, like "hon" and the like, were intolerable to me, and still are. Someone who doesn't know me has no business calling me hon or darling. And in introductory casual conversation, I still hate being touched. Once in high school, a teacher tried to put his hand on my arm while conducting a condescending talk about one of my assignments, and I recoiled. When I object to these things, I have people telling me they're just trying to be nice, but I don't see it that way.
Because of my condition, it has always been hard for me to make and keep friends. But it has improved as I've gotten older, as I've gradually learned the social techniques that I previously didn't understand. On my new favorite TV show Dexter, as unsettling as it is to identify with a serial killer, in a flashback scene, a teenage Dexter is approached by a girl, asking him if he's heard about the spring formal. He says yes, but nothing else. When the girl leaves, Dexter's father tells him that the girl wanted him to ask her to the dance. Dexter replies, "But that's not what she said." I totally understood. There's so much work in communicating; not only listening to what's said, but deciphering body language, tone, context, it goes on and on. I shouldn't be too surprised that it took me so long to pick up on it, and why I still need work in perfecting it, even though it seems to come naturally to almost everyone else.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Major turnaround in my life
After four long months of being unemployed and becoming broke, I finally have a new job. It doesn't pay too much at first, but I'm tutoring again, something I've always enjoyed, and I'll have a steady income and won't go totally broke and have to leave my apartment. This news, combined with my still-flourishing new relationship (though I'm still not sure if I should call him my boyfriend), has put me in a rare good mood, and I'm hoping it continues.
There has been some sad news though. Bound will not be open again until February 1st, due to moving to yet another venue. But from what I've heard, the new spot is a good one, so please, a call to the goth/fetish freaks out in the DC area, please come out on Fridays and support us. What else is there for our people to do on Friday nights? Also, my friend Juan, of the awesome band Baskorov (sorry if I misspelled that), is leaving for New York soon. I wish him the best of luck in NYC, and would like to make it out to the band's last DC area show for the time being tonight, but it's tough for me to get out there, and it looks like I'll already have plans for later tonight. Still, if anyone can make it out there, please support them.
For all the changes in my life, both good and bad, one thing remains constant: stupid guys who think they actually have a chance of having sex with me. Guys who can't spell, including one whose page on MySpace was a mess of near-illiteracy, and one who gave me his phone number. For the very few of you who don't already know, giving your number to a stranger you see online is a bad idea.
There has been some sad news though. Bound will not be open again until February 1st, due to moving to yet another venue. But from what I've heard, the new spot is a good one, so please, a call to the goth/fetish freaks out in the DC area, please come out on Fridays and support us. What else is there for our people to do on Friday nights? Also, my friend Juan, of the awesome band Baskorov (sorry if I misspelled that), is leaving for New York soon. I wish him the best of luck in NYC, and would like to make it out to the band's last DC area show for the time being tonight, but it's tough for me to get out there, and it looks like I'll already have plans for later tonight. Still, if anyone can make it out there, please support them.
For all the changes in my life, both good and bad, one thing remains constant: stupid guys who think they actually have a chance of having sex with me. Guys who can't spell, including one whose page on MySpace was a mess of near-illiteracy, and one who gave me his phone number. For the very few of you who don't already know, giving your number to a stranger you see online is a bad idea.
Monday, January 07, 2008
First blog of 2008
A week into the new year, I'm cautiously optimistic. Although I just found out via form email that I didn't get one job I interviewed for, I have an interview tomorrow and a promising lead on another possible opportunity. I get to keep my apartment for another month, and Anthony and I are still seeing each other.
New Year's Eve at Bound was a great time, though I wish more people had shown up. I guess there was too much competition from Rapture. But Anthony and I had a great night, recorded in a photo taken by our good friend Phoebe. We also ended up at Bound last Friday, where attendance was down yet again. Bound has lost yet another venue, and I want more people out for the grand re-opening at Felix on Februry 1st. There was a decent crowd at Midnight last Saturday, so I know the market is there. And Bound is the only event of its kind on Fridays, so where is everyone? Angels on Acid, an awesome band, will be perfoming at Felix on Bound's first night there, so that should be a big draw, I hope.
At Midnight, I saw another awesome band, Mankind is Obsolete. Very goth/synth, but with a hard-rocking edge. A cool band made up of equally cool members. I wish I had the money to buy a CD or T-shirt, but being unemployed, I didn't. Maybe next time they come through town, and I'll be there when they do.
So I'm going into 2008 with a slightly improved mood that I hope doesn't turn around and bite me in the ass, as often happens when I get a shred of optimism. But a happy new year to everyone who has helped me through the hard times and joined me in celebrating the good times. Happy 2008.
New Year's Eve at Bound was a great time, though I wish more people had shown up. I guess there was too much competition from Rapture. But Anthony and I had a great night, recorded in a photo taken by our good friend Phoebe. We also ended up at Bound last Friday, where attendance was down yet again. Bound has lost yet another venue, and I want more people out for the grand re-opening at Felix on Februry 1st. There was a decent crowd at Midnight last Saturday, so I know the market is there. And Bound is the only event of its kind on Fridays, so where is everyone? Angels on Acid, an awesome band, will be perfoming at Felix on Bound's first night there, so that should be a big draw, I hope.
At Midnight, I saw another awesome band, Mankind is Obsolete. Very goth/synth, but with a hard-rocking edge. A cool band made up of equally cool members. I wish I had the money to buy a CD or T-shirt, but being unemployed, I didn't. Maybe next time they come through town, and I'll be there when they do.
So I'm going into 2008 with a slightly improved mood that I hope doesn't turn around and bite me in the ass, as often happens when I get a shred of optimism. But a happy new year to everyone who has helped me through the hard times and joined me in celebrating the good times. Happy 2008.
Monday, December 17, 2007
New Jersey bans death penalty
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071217/ap_on_re_us/death_penalty_new_jersey
This is an encouraging story, with one state in the union speaking out against capital punishment and setting an example. As expected, hardcore Republicans and victims' families call it "a slap in the face to the victims" and that "the punishment no longer fits the crime." The victims themselves have already suffered, and no amount of executions will reverse it. All it does is satisfy the base need for revenge. It doesn't help anyone but grieving families, and I can't see that it helps them that much. A member of their family is still dead. Although the momentary need for retribution might be satisfied, the void left by the initial death isn't filled by the death of another. I encourage anyone interested in this issue to read "Reflections on the Guillotine" by Albert Camus, which helped strengthen my previous on-the-fence view of capital punishment into an ardent opposition, along with what I've read about criminal profilers and the insights they've gained into the minds of murderers due to interviews that never could have been conducted if the killers had been immediately executed. Robert Ressler, a pioneering FBI profiler, also speaks out against the death penalty in his book Whoever Fights Monsters. The title of his book is taken from a famous quote by Fredrich Nietzche, which is good advice for all law enforcement officials and any wannabe vigilantes (this might not be the exact wording): "He who fights monsters should fight to make sure that he does not become a monster." When tracking the worst of humanity, it's easy to be swept up in revenge fantasies of causing harm to these human monsters, but laws regarding criminal prosecution are there for a reason, because it's so easy to get carried away, and possibly take out one's rage on the wrong person while blinded by rage. I know I'm very different from others, I've been hearing it all my life, and I might not understand "normal" emotions, but I feel that a life behind bars, with nothing but time with the memories of their victims, is punishment enough for a violent criminal. Also, as I've said before, I find the raging cries for execution, which differ very little from savage bloodlust, from many victims' families and the public in general, very disturbing. It's a reminder of the violent urges that lurk in all of us, that we usually manage to control, and need to control for the sake of our society.
Still no good news on the job front. The fact that I left my last job because I was stifled and miserable is very likely affecting my search, but I was thinking about that today, after again not hearing any news. If I left a job because I was unhappy and unproductive, then employers should see my interest in their company as genuine, because I'm not the type to just take any job to make money (although I'm starting to get to that point). But of course, there's very little logic involved in employers' standards, or everyday human interaction.
This is an encouraging story, with one state in the union speaking out against capital punishment and setting an example. As expected, hardcore Republicans and victims' families call it "a slap in the face to the victims" and that "the punishment no longer fits the crime." The victims themselves have already suffered, and no amount of executions will reverse it. All it does is satisfy the base need for revenge. It doesn't help anyone but grieving families, and I can't see that it helps them that much. A member of their family is still dead. Although the momentary need for retribution might be satisfied, the void left by the initial death isn't filled by the death of another. I encourage anyone interested in this issue to read "Reflections on the Guillotine" by Albert Camus, which helped strengthen my previous on-the-fence view of capital punishment into an ardent opposition, along with what I've read about criminal profilers and the insights they've gained into the minds of murderers due to interviews that never could have been conducted if the killers had been immediately executed. Robert Ressler, a pioneering FBI profiler, also speaks out against the death penalty in his book Whoever Fights Monsters. The title of his book is taken from a famous quote by Fredrich Nietzche, which is good advice for all law enforcement officials and any wannabe vigilantes (this might not be the exact wording): "He who fights monsters should fight to make sure that he does not become a monster." When tracking the worst of humanity, it's easy to be swept up in revenge fantasies of causing harm to these human monsters, but laws regarding criminal prosecution are there for a reason, because it's so easy to get carried away, and possibly take out one's rage on the wrong person while blinded by rage. I know I'm very different from others, I've been hearing it all my life, and I might not understand "normal" emotions, but I feel that a life behind bars, with nothing but time with the memories of their victims, is punishment enough for a violent criminal. Also, as I've said before, I find the raging cries for execution, which differ very little from savage bloodlust, from many victims' families and the public in general, very disturbing. It's a reminder of the violent urges that lurk in all of us, that we usually manage to control, and need to control for the sake of our society.
Still no good news on the job front. The fact that I left my last job because I was stifled and miserable is very likely affecting my search, but I was thinking about that today, after again not hearing any news. If I left a job because I was unhappy and unproductive, then employers should see my interest in their company as genuine, because I'm not the type to just take any job to make money (although I'm starting to get to that point). But of course, there's very little logic involved in employers' standards, or everyday human interaction.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Colorado church shooting
http://news.yahoo.com/fc/US/Colorado_Church_Shootings;_ylt=Ao6Pf39fYtjDy9EEh0h7IEdH2ocA
Despite Matthew Murray's anti-Christian diatribes posted online, his motive for opening fire in New Life Church and its youth group building was clearly something far baser and simpler: revenge. Murray was "asked to leave" the church's Youth with a Mission group for undisclosed reasons before his rampage. He wasn't acting on demonic influences or anti-Christian violence; it was just revenge, the motive for so many mass murderers and a familiar one that crosses racial and religious lines. Murray was, like Robert Hawkins in Nebraska, a typical mass murderer: young white male with a grudge and, it appears, mental problems. I just hope the general public remembers this while the nutjob Christians turn this incident into a rallying point for paranoia that the whole world is out to get them for their godliness. And they will; it's what they do.
An interesting side note: the church security guard who stopped Murray by firing a shot and deemed a hero, was reportedly fired from the local police force for lying during an internal investigation, if I read the bottom paragraph of one of the stories correctly. Another side note: New Life Church was founded by disgraced evangelical leader Ted Haggard, brought down by his hypocrisy and lust for male prostitutes.
Despite Matthew Murray's anti-Christian diatribes posted online, his motive for opening fire in New Life Church and its youth group building was clearly something far baser and simpler: revenge. Murray was "asked to leave" the church's Youth with a Mission group for undisclosed reasons before his rampage. He wasn't acting on demonic influences or anti-Christian violence; it was just revenge, the motive for so many mass murderers and a familiar one that crosses racial and religious lines. Murray was, like Robert Hawkins in Nebraska, a typical mass murderer: young white male with a grudge and, it appears, mental problems. I just hope the general public remembers this while the nutjob Christians turn this incident into a rallying point for paranoia that the whole world is out to get them for their godliness. And they will; it's what they do.
An interesting side note: the church security guard who stopped Murray by firing a shot and deemed a hero, was reportedly fired from the local police force for lying during an internal investigation, if I read the bottom paragraph of one of the stories correctly. Another side note: New Life Church was founded by disgraced evangelical leader Ted Haggard, brought down by his hypocrisy and lust for male prostitutes.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Mass murder in Nebraska mall
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071206/ap_on_re_us/mall_shooting_gunman;_ylt=Ah_BwsKfvqTvng7IepU8lLhH2ocA
19-year-old Robert Hawkins killed six people in a department store before shooting himself. Hawkins fit the prototype of the mass murderer; a history of depression, high school dropout, and a week before his rampage, he had been fired from his job. And of course, those who knew him never saw it coming. Although his friend's mother, who he was living with, found a suicide note the day of the shooting, she never thought Hawkins' suicide would reach the level it did. Hawkins left a note saying, along with expressing regret for the trouble he caused, "Now I'm famous." A depressed nobody trying to make a name for himself with an elaborate suicide; the textbook mass murder. Fifty years ago, Nebraska was the site of another teenager on a killing spree, Charles Starkweather. Starkweather was not on a suicidal mission, but still wanted to make a name for himself and find an outlet for his rage against society.
I have a job interview tomorrow, after showing up late to my interview today. Serves me right for thinking I could get to an address in Falls Church, an area I know nothing about. But tomorrow, I know exacly where I'm going, and will do my best to make the best possible impression. I've been jobless for far too long, and I'm starting to get paranoid about never having an income again. On a positive note, Anthony, the guy I met at Bound right before Thanksgiving, is coming back from his business trip tomorrow. He's been gone for almost three weeks, and I miss him. With the one good thing in my life now temporarily gone, no wonder I slipped into one of my depressions and tried to drink it away last Friday. But maybe it's good that he left for a while. It gave me a chance to miss him, to long for him. It sounds strange, but for most of my life, a guy had to be at least temporarily unavailable for me to be interested. If Anthony gets called out of town often enough, this might actually work, a concept that frightens me a bit because it's so unusual in my life.
19-year-old Robert Hawkins killed six people in a department store before shooting himself. Hawkins fit the prototype of the mass murderer; a history of depression, high school dropout, and a week before his rampage, he had been fired from his job. And of course, those who knew him never saw it coming. Although his friend's mother, who he was living with, found a suicide note the day of the shooting, she never thought Hawkins' suicide would reach the level it did. Hawkins left a note saying, along with expressing regret for the trouble he caused, "Now I'm famous." A depressed nobody trying to make a name for himself with an elaborate suicide; the textbook mass murder. Fifty years ago, Nebraska was the site of another teenager on a killing spree, Charles Starkweather. Starkweather was not on a suicidal mission, but still wanted to make a name for himself and find an outlet for his rage against society.
I have a job interview tomorrow, after showing up late to my interview today. Serves me right for thinking I could get to an address in Falls Church, an area I know nothing about. But tomorrow, I know exacly where I'm going, and will do my best to make the best possible impression. I've been jobless for far too long, and I'm starting to get paranoid about never having an income again. On a positive note, Anthony, the guy I met at Bound right before Thanksgiving, is coming back from his business trip tomorrow. He's been gone for almost three weeks, and I miss him. With the one good thing in my life now temporarily gone, no wonder I slipped into one of my depressions and tried to drink it away last Friday. But maybe it's good that he left for a while. It gave me a chance to miss him, to long for him. It sounds strange, but for most of my life, a guy had to be at least temporarily unavailable for me to be interested. If Anthony gets called out of town often enough, this might actually work, a concept that frightens me a bit because it's so unusual in my life.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Another bad night
I have been trying to crawl out of a cavern of shame since Friday night. I went to the Black Cat for Cryfest (a Cure/Smiths night) and was having a great time until I had a bit of a fifth drink. There must have been something in that drink, or I was officially over my limit, because all of a sudden the staff was trying to throw me out. It wasn't until this happened that I started to get unruly, demanding that I be allowed to get my coat from upstairs. After telling them exactly where my coat was, that it was long black wool and had a Metro card in the left pocket, I get a short black coat with no pockets. I'm not saying that the staff of the Black Cat is stupid, but after giving the same description to a friend who luckily happened to be outside at the time, he quickly came back with the right coat (Thanks so much Joel, I owe you big). What's worse, after the staff tried to give me the wrong coat, they said I'd have to come back tomorrow and make my way home with no coat or Metro card. They'll have to forgive me for not exactly trusting them to hold onto anything overnight. Even when I was crying outside after being told to come back in the morning, and was not causing any more trouble, they refused to let me back in. I know it's all over now, and it worked out for the best, but I keep thinking; what if things hadn't worked out? What if Joel hadn't been outside? What if I had kept shouting and the staff called the cops and I ended up in jail? All I should be thinking about is how I narrowly escaped a disastrous moment, and what I can learn from it. Drinking has always been a social crutch of mine. I become more talkative and less reserved when I drink, and I try to keep it going. It's caused other problems in the past, mostly sex-related with guys I never should have even talked to, but never anything on this level. I was fine until I started on that fifth drink. A guy who was clearly trying to get in my pants bought it for me, so I have my suspicions, especially after I started acting like a maniac immediately after I took a sip. But it was probably just too much alcohol combined with the natural stress of having to explain myself to an unyielding staff who doesn't appear to be helping. I've told myself before, after yet another disappointing one-night stand, that I will drink less, but it never sticks. I'm hoping that, remembering my embarrassing Friday night, I'll make it stick this time.
Before I went out on Friday, I learned that my grandfather had died after a long, off and on struggle with cancer. It hadn't even hit me when I headed out that my grandfather was dead. He was among my favorite extended relatives, but I can't say we were exactly close. In a perverted way, maybe getting drunk and making an ass of myself was the best way to honor his memory, in the spirit his alcoholic Irish Catholic clan.
Before I went out on Friday, I learned that my grandfather had died after a long, off and on struggle with cancer. It hadn't even hit me when I headed out that my grandfather was dead. He was among my favorite extended relatives, but I can't say we were exactly close. In a perverted way, maybe getting drunk and making an ass of myself was the best way to honor his memory, in the spirit his alcoholic Irish Catholic clan.
Friday, November 23, 2007
A rash of domestic murders in Maryland
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071123/ap_on_re_us/five_dead
Domestic murder is the most common type of murder, and the type most often committed by women. The reason for this, why when a woman is murdered the husband is always the prime suspect and often the killer, is, as a friend told me a while ago, most of us have to have a strong emotional connection to someone to get to the point of even considering killing them. Only psychopaths or other emotional defectives feel the urge to kill a total stranger. Or someone so greedy or desperate who kills for money. As the article states, there have been several high-profile incidents in Maryland this past year, often with children as the victims. The murder of a child, especially by their own parents, is always disturbing. Children are almost always innocent victims, caught in the crosshairs of either a mother's severe postpartum depression, one spouse's desire for revenge against the other, or a parent's mental illness. And with most parents' will to protect their children against any type of ill, up to the point of sacrificing their own lives, when a parent ends their child's life, it's an exceptionally sad story, but all too common.
The guy I recently met, though currently out of town, is still calling me frequently, and I saw him again last weekend and had another great night. I'm almost to the point of forgetting the asshole who wanders in and out of my life, who until now I thought could be the love of my life, if he would only stick around. But now I see him for what he is, a coward who can't even tell me his whole story. But this new guy is different, at least that's how it feels at the moment. And I might have a new job soon, if I don't blow this interview like I often have the past few months, if I get that far in my job hunt, which has been rare.
Domestic murder is the most common type of murder, and the type most often committed by women. The reason for this, why when a woman is murdered the husband is always the prime suspect and often the killer, is, as a friend told me a while ago, most of us have to have a strong emotional connection to someone to get to the point of even considering killing them. Only psychopaths or other emotional defectives feel the urge to kill a total stranger. Or someone so greedy or desperate who kills for money. As the article states, there have been several high-profile incidents in Maryland this past year, often with children as the victims. The murder of a child, especially by their own parents, is always disturbing. Children are almost always innocent victims, caught in the crosshairs of either a mother's severe postpartum depression, one spouse's desire for revenge against the other, or a parent's mental illness. And with most parents' will to protect their children against any type of ill, up to the point of sacrificing their own lives, when a parent ends their child's life, it's an exceptionally sad story, but all too common.
The guy I recently met, though currently out of town, is still calling me frequently, and I saw him again last weekend and had another great night. I'm almost to the point of forgetting the asshole who wanders in and out of my life, who until now I thought could be the love of my life, if he would only stick around. But now I see him for what he is, a coward who can't even tell me his whole story. But this new guy is different, at least that's how it feels at the moment. And I might have a new job soon, if I don't blow this interview like I often have the past few months, if I get that far in my job hunt, which has been rare.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The Democratic Presidential candidates
The candidates for President on both sides leave much to be desired. But on the Democratic side, it's particularly distressing. Hillary Clinton, despite being reviled by the right, is displaying increasing levels of Howard Dean-style unfocused insanity, and appears to absolutely refuse to answer questions in a concrete manner. Barak Obama, despite his early promise, has now turned all God-warrior on us, allying with anti-gay ministers, and also refusing to answer questions with anything but empty optimistic phrases. I still hold out a shred of hope for Obama, but I feel he has overstepped his limitations by running for President so soon. And while John Edwards gained my respect with a very strong performance in the 2004 Vice Presidential debate against Der Fuhrer Cheney, after Bill Clinton, the nation is wary of another smooth-talking southerner. I have a soft spot for Joe Biden and his unrehearsed honesty, but unrehearsed honesty doesn't get one far in the political sphere, and it's not enough to hold up a successful Presidency. And while the borderline Marxist in me also has inclinations toward Dennis Kucinich, I don't see how his ideals will translate to the anti-Marxist American stage. But there is one faint beacon of hope: Bill Richardson, the very successful and popular governor of New Mexico. Richardson is a champion of civil rights, an advocate of the environment, opposes the Iraq occupation, supports tax fairness, and, most importantly, has made affordable health care and quality education his top priorities, recognizing the Bush administration's failings in both areas. For transcripts of his cogent and eloquent speeches and outlines of positions, go to http://www.richardsonforpresident.com/home Richardson also gets points for recognizing America's energy crisis, and as former Secretary of Energy, he should know. Richardson has also been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in the Middle East and Darfur activism. While all things are subject to change, for the time being, Godless Liberal is endorsing the Honorable Governor Bill Richardson for the next President of the United States.
Maryland's governor, Martin O'Malley, has made some promising strides of his own in his short time as head of the state. I heard him speak on Thursday at Progressive Maryland's awards banquet. While some called his speech a "downer," I found his honesty about the hard road ahead refreshing. O'Malley passed the nation's first living wage law, and is doing his best to close the state's deficit and undo Ehrlich's various damages. And it says something about O'Malley that he is willing to be identified with Progressive Maryland, a group Ehrlich called "wack-jobs." I consider the former governor's words an endorsement. In his pro-rich and pro-business eyes, I guess any group who advocates a slight tax increase for the super-rich is a wack-job. And we wear that tag with honor. Also, Martin O'Malley, unlike many politicians, has a good sense of humor. When one of Progressive Maryland's team members put on a George Bush mask and wandered by the governor doing an impression of our President in name only, O'Malley was, according to those who saw the incident, laughing his ass off.
Here ends my political rant. Not as informed as I would like, and I may come out looking stupid as a result of my lack of thorough research, but for now, I'm comfortable with my positions. And being a member of Progressive Maryland has not only increased my comfort in social situations, but I am also learning more about various social injustices and how to start solving them. But, American politics sure is depressing. No wonder so many of us prefer not to think about it.
Maryland's governor, Martin O'Malley, has made some promising strides of his own in his short time as head of the state. I heard him speak on Thursday at Progressive Maryland's awards banquet. While some called his speech a "downer," I found his honesty about the hard road ahead refreshing. O'Malley passed the nation's first living wage law, and is doing his best to close the state's deficit and undo Ehrlich's various damages. And it says something about O'Malley that he is willing to be identified with Progressive Maryland, a group Ehrlich called "wack-jobs." I consider the former governor's words an endorsement. In his pro-rich and pro-business eyes, I guess any group who advocates a slight tax increase for the super-rich is a wack-job. And we wear that tag with honor. Also, Martin O'Malley, unlike many politicians, has a good sense of humor. When one of Progressive Maryland's team members put on a George Bush mask and wandered by the governor doing an impression of our President in name only, O'Malley was, according to those who saw the incident, laughing his ass off.
Here ends my political rant. Not as informed as I would like, and I may come out looking stupid as a result of my lack of thorough research, but for now, I'm comfortable with my positions. And being a member of Progressive Maryland has not only increased my comfort in social situations, but I am also learning more about various social injustices and how to start solving them. But, American politics sure is depressing. No wonder so many of us prefer not to think about it.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Norman Mailer dead at 84
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071110/ap_on_en_ot/obit_mailer;_ylt=Au_V2CYMWHJ9VUEGkk_n7Oes0NUE
He may have been a misogynistic asshole in his private life, married six times and almost fatally stabbing his second wife, but Norman Mailer was still a towering figure in American literature. I will always admire him for his iconoclasm and fighting into his last days with "President" George W. Bush, calling Bush on his "pre-fascist" regime.
Todd and I were talking last night at Bound about the very lackluster attendance. Where are all of you? We have a decent space, great music and people, but we're still about 100 guests short. Bound is the only goth-industrial event in DC on Fridays. We need you, and you need us. Still, I managed to have a good night, until I left. I met a great guy named Anthony, who I'm seeing again tonight, and we talked about movies and literature and stupid people, which are among my favorite topics. At the end of the night, around 2 am, he had to drive his friend home, and since he lives near me, he offered me a ride. This was very nice of him, and I wanted more time with him, so I accepted. Bad idea. Not because of Anthony, but because his friend brought some military friends who had to be taken back to base in Southwest. They didn't see the entrance at first, so we had to basically circle around the city to find our way back, which took a very long time. And on our way, we got stuck behind an accident, and had to wait until the ambulances cleared. Luckily, Anthony had some Dave Attell standup routines on his iPod, which helped lighten the mood. It was about 4:30 when we finally got the uniforms back to their barrack. They were lucky I didn't throw them onto the ground myself. To give an idea of how long the trip took, after finishing my fifth drink at the club right before we left, I was completely sober by the time we got to the barracks. Then after that long and painful trip, we had to go to Gaithersburg to drop off a girl at her car, then drive Anthony's friend out to Frederick. I got home at 6 am. By the time we got to my house, I had never had to pee so bad in my life. Still, I enjoyed meeting Anthony, and am looking forward to seeing him tonight. We're going to AFI to see "Taxidermia," a Hungarian film that's part of the European Union Film Showcase. The lesson to be learned in our drive around the circling highways of DC in search of a military base is this: I don't care how they've served their country, never give a soldier a ride home in the wee hours of the morning.
I've met a great guy (the great guy I saw again last week after months of not communicating has stopped communicating yet again, and of course I still can't stop thinking about him), started a not-great but still interesting part-time job at Progressive Maryland with some very cool people, and I have an interview on Monday to work as an SAT tutor. Is my life finally starting to turn around? Or is this just a mirage of a high before my inevitable fall? I guess I should enjoy the good times while they last.
He may have been a misogynistic asshole in his private life, married six times and almost fatally stabbing his second wife, but Norman Mailer was still a towering figure in American literature. I will always admire him for his iconoclasm and fighting into his last days with "President" George W. Bush, calling Bush on his "pre-fascist" regime.
Todd and I were talking last night at Bound about the very lackluster attendance. Where are all of you? We have a decent space, great music and people, but we're still about 100 guests short. Bound is the only goth-industrial event in DC on Fridays. We need you, and you need us. Still, I managed to have a good night, until I left. I met a great guy named Anthony, who I'm seeing again tonight, and we talked about movies and literature and stupid people, which are among my favorite topics. At the end of the night, around 2 am, he had to drive his friend home, and since he lives near me, he offered me a ride. This was very nice of him, and I wanted more time with him, so I accepted. Bad idea. Not because of Anthony, but because his friend brought some military friends who had to be taken back to base in Southwest. They didn't see the entrance at first, so we had to basically circle around the city to find our way back, which took a very long time. And on our way, we got stuck behind an accident, and had to wait until the ambulances cleared. Luckily, Anthony had some Dave Attell standup routines on his iPod, which helped lighten the mood. It was about 4:30 when we finally got the uniforms back to their barrack. They were lucky I didn't throw them onto the ground myself. To give an idea of how long the trip took, after finishing my fifth drink at the club right before we left, I was completely sober by the time we got to the barracks. Then after that long and painful trip, we had to go to Gaithersburg to drop off a girl at her car, then drive Anthony's friend out to Frederick. I got home at 6 am. By the time we got to my house, I had never had to pee so bad in my life. Still, I enjoyed meeting Anthony, and am looking forward to seeing him tonight. We're going to AFI to see "Taxidermia," a Hungarian film that's part of the European Union Film Showcase. The lesson to be learned in our drive around the circling highways of DC in search of a military base is this: I don't care how they've served their country, never give a soldier a ride home in the wee hours of the morning.
I've met a great guy (the great guy I saw again last week after months of not communicating has stopped communicating yet again, and of course I still can't stop thinking about him), started a not-great but still interesting part-time job at Progressive Maryland with some very cool people, and I have an interview on Monday to work as an SAT tutor. Is my life finally starting to turn around? Or is this just a mirage of a high before my inevitable fall? I guess I should enjoy the good times while they last.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
School shooting in Finland
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071107/ap_on_re_eu/finland_school_shooting
Finland is a surprising place for a school shooting, an almost entirely American phenomenon. While gun ownership is more common in Finland than in the rest of Europe, the article states, shootings are still rare. The gunman shot several people in the school, including the principal, after putting up a plan for his rampage on YouTube, calling it a "revolution." He then shot himself, but survived. No other information about the shooter or his motives was included, but I will, of course, be following this story.
Some odd political news: Pat Robertson, professional religious wingnut and swindler of the faithful, is backing Rudy Giuliani for president. This is surprising because Giuliani, while I'm not a fan, is at least pro-choice and pro-gay rights, making him a bit too socially permissive and, well, rational for the crazy Christians Robertson represents.
A bit of good news: I officially start training at Progressive Maryland today. Not only am I employed again, I'll be working for something I can be proud of. And when I explained my dissatisfaction with my previous job during my interview, the interviewer not only understood, he fully sympathized and shared stories of corporate bullshit of his own. I think I could be happy there.
Finland is a surprising place for a school shooting, an almost entirely American phenomenon. While gun ownership is more common in Finland than in the rest of Europe, the article states, shootings are still rare. The gunman shot several people in the school, including the principal, after putting up a plan for his rampage on YouTube, calling it a "revolution." He then shot himself, but survived. No other information about the shooter or his motives was included, but I will, of course, be following this story.
Some odd political news: Pat Robertson, professional religious wingnut and swindler of the faithful, is backing Rudy Giuliani for president. This is surprising because Giuliani, while I'm not a fan, is at least pro-choice and pro-gay rights, making him a bit too socially permissive and, well, rational for the crazy Christians Robertson represents.
A bit of good news: I officially start training at Progressive Maryland today. Not only am I employed again, I'll be working for something I can be proud of. And when I explained my dissatisfaction with my previous job during my interview, the interviewer not only understood, he fully sympathized and shared stories of corporate bullshit of his own. I think I could be happy there.
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