You'll be coming down

Awesome Halloween weekend. The BUG party was a great time, anyone who was there probably heard me screaming. Entre Nous' Halloween bash wasn't as horribly crowded as last year, which made it more enjoyable. As always, there were some great costumes. My friend Scott showed major commitment to his Caesar outfit by wearing nothing but a cape and specially designed underwear, and cutting his hair to match. Holly looked very hot as Milla Jovovich in The Fifth Element, and I loved Jen's Princess Leia gold bikini. She's the only woman I know who could pull that off. But the best costume I saw was on the Metro Saturday night on my way to EN. A guy was wearing a Union blue Civil War uniform and hat, and was carrying a bottle. Yes, I'm guessing he was Ulysses S. Grant. Very clever. I wanted to make it to Cradle of Love last night, but I think I had reached my party quota for the weekend. I hope I can see Maverick's Charles Manson costume at an upcoming celebration.
I love Halloween, and celebrating with my friends, but, as is often the case, when I was out I started getting depressed in quiet moments and on the way home. Almost everyone around me was paired up, and I was alone. Sometimes I felt invisible, because I don't have the typical engaging personality, and I'm not exactly a flamboyant attention-grabber like some of my friends. I had a good time, and I'm glad I got out this weekend, but there's always a negative side. The fun passed, and yesterday I was left listening to the new Bruce Springsteen album (excellent, by the way), especially the second track, "You'll Be Coming Down." Something about it got to me, most likely the lyrics about fading youth and beauty, and everything good going bad eventually. After a fun weekend, I'm left listening to depressing music, knowing that for the rest of the week I'll still be unemployed and alone. I might have to leave the apartment I love after this month if I don't get a job soon, I'm too tired and depressed after doing nothing all day to go out or even write, and I never call the friends from the clubs because I assume they don't want to talk to me. I've made a lot of progress from high school, when I had no friends and hated myself to the point of hiding in my room and not talking to anyone, but I'm still too shy to go after a job I want or to develop a friendship, or to keep in contact with a guy who could be the love of my life. But please, don't let me spoil your Halloween fun. I'll figure a way out of this slump somehow.

YOU'LL BE COMIN' DOWN

white roses and misty blue eyes
red mornings, then nothin' but gray skies
a cup of coffee, a heart shot clean through
the jacket you bought me gone daisy gray-blue
you're smiling now but you'll find out
they'll use you up and spit you out now
your head's spinnin' in diamonds and clouds
but pretty soon it turns out

you'll be comin' down now baby
you'll be coming down
what goes around, it comes around and
you'll be comin' down

easy street, a quick buck and true lies
smiles as thin as those dusky blue skies
a silver plate of pearls my golden child
it's all yours at least for a little while
you'll be fine long as your pretty face holds out
then it's gonna get pretty cold out
an empty stream of stars shooting by
you got your hopes on high

you'll be comin' down now baby
you'll be coming down
what goes around, it comes around and
you'll be comin' down

for a while you'll go sparklin' by
just another pretty thing on high

like a thief on a sunday morning
it all falls apart with no warning
your cinnamon sky's gone candy-apple green
the crushed metal of your little flying machine

you'll be comin' down now baby
you'll be coming down
what goes around, it comes around and
you'll be comin' down

you'll be comin' down now baby
you'll be coming down
what goes around, it comes around and
you'll be comin' down